Finding The (One?) True Path.

This is me…I am a artist/photographer/woman/mama/human being finding her path in this life. Truth be told: I am an honest, open, joyful, loving, generous, encouraging, crazy, clumsy, compassionate, creative, dorky, warm person/friend/human being.
The greatest joy(s) of my life are my children & my art.
Recently, I am have begun to give so much of myself to these two little people & my art that at times the self sacrifice is almost more than I can handle. But then, just as everything is about to crest, the reality of this living world sets in…these moments, each and every tick of the clock, miracles that must be cradled, slowed and LIVED.
I am a truth seeker. A peace maker. A beauty beholder.
When I hold my camera, place it up to my eye, look at the world and focus…I am overcome by a euphoric feeling that sends me outside of my body. I have not yet been able to articulate this feeling with words. However, I can share that it feels a lot like the near death/out of body experience that I had six years ago. Six years ago, my first child, Birdie died within my womb. One moment I was present, staring up at a white ceiling, surrounded by bright surgical lights, then the everything around me went white and I stopped breathing – and my life flashed/memories/thoughts/dreams. As I “felt” this happening…it was like I was watching her go.
I believe in that moment (when all went white), that she sent me back…to live on, to share her legacy with anyone who would/will listen.
I do. I do share her and talk about her, her spirit has become a constant passenger.
Through the experience of such tremendous loss and grief, I emerged stronger, more powerful, more capable of seeing just how fragile life truly is. One moment a heart beats, in that next moment it may not.
Birdie. She gave me this gift of seeing from a perspective that most do not.
Maybe by now your asking, “What is the point here”. My point, my truth on this beautiful May evening…it is this:
I know that there are so many other photographers out there. There are big mall portrait studios, there are amateur photographers etc. Do they offer the same kind of love and care, honesty, loyalty and raw creative perspective as an artist like myself. NO. They can’t, because the volume is too high. It’s a photo factory.
When I am with a client(s), whether it’s a family, couple, portrait seeker, baby, friends, siblings etc. I SHOW UP. I SHOW UP with my HEART/MIND/LOYALTY/CREATIVITY/LOVE/KINDNESS & COMPASSION. I give my all because I am able and WANT to. I care very much to hear your stories, your passions, your adventures, your favorite color(s)…ALL OF IT, because it matters and YOU are IMPORTANT, and these things about you help us to connect.
I so very much want to reach out to YOU & YOU & YOU! To tell you what and honor it is to work with you, to capture your truth, your deep love, your twinkling beauty…that light that shines from your eyes. I am moved to tears at times when I work. That IS the truth.
So here I am. Trembling and vulnerable, my heart poured out to you and the universe. My heart, telling me yes. This is right, this is the way. I am following a path, and throwing myself fully into flight.
Will you, the people who see my work, see me for who I am, and not be scared away?